14 weeks and we have a bump...sort of?

Yesterday I hit 14 weeks, which isn't really a big milestone, but I feel like things have been moving quickly since the 12 weeks milestone. I can still wear my normal clothes, I just notice my protruding belly a little more these days, and this morning I definitely felt like you could see my pregnancy.

I had a nice day wrapping presents and doing things around the house in the morning, then running to Target to buy some new bras that I was in desperate need of--I feel like I should have maybe gone two cup sizes up, since my new one is still pretty full....oh well, I guess I can wait and see. I finished off my day making cookies for my students and doing some random tasks around the house before heading to the dorm for my last night of duty this year.

I felt like I had a lot more energy today, but it may just be that for once I didn't have to actually work during the day--it's amazing how much I can get done when I just have a day to myself while the rest of the world is working.

the word is out.

This morning James and I revealed our big news at the faculty meeting, and I've been telling my classes and other students that I'm close to throughout the day. It's a pretty exciting day, especially hearing the students' reactions, and I wanted to try to record as many of them as possible.

"Can I tweet about it?"

"How did you not tell us sooner?"

"REALLY?!?!"

"When? Where? How?"

"I heard there's something growing in your stomach...true or false?"

"Does Mr. Garcia know?"

(from a senior) "Why couldn't you have done this LAST YEAR?"

no worries, beat happy!

Today I had my 12 week appointment with Dr. Moss, and it went tremendously better than my previous visit. After the millions of questions about the history of birth defects in our families, we got down to business! We were able to hear the heartbeat for the first time, and Dr. Moss said that to her it sounds like the slow heartbeat of a boy. She also said the baby is feisty and moving around a lot. It was such a surreal experience to hear the heartbeat, and I'm so glad that James was there to witness it.

It's also amazingly reassuring to not be worried anymore about the possibility of a miscarriage. Obviously there's always a chance, but right now the odds are more than in our baby's favor. I'm only a few days away from being done with this first trimester, and I can't hardly believe that 1/3 of this journey is almost over! It seems like there is so much to do, but I also know that things will begin to slow down a little in other aspects of my life--being done with my Master's degree, basketball season will end in February, and then I can just focus on the baby, my classes, and the dorm. That of course still seems like a lot, but to me it seems like such a small list of things to worry about!

big day ahead!

In less than two days James and I will get to meet with our doctor, and hopefully hear our baby's heartbeat for the first time. We are really excited, and somewhat nervous, as has been the theme of my life over the past two months. I like to think there's nothing to worry about because there haven't been any reasons to worry, and I've been taking my progesterone twice a day for the past three weeks. I do feel like I'm not eating as well as I should be, but it's hard when the smell of vegetables makes me gag! I have been eating a lot more fruit to try and make up for it, but I know that I need to do better.

Over Christmas my sisters are going to be throwing me a shower, so I have to get going on registering for gifts fast! Everything is so overwhelming--I wish I could just peruse baby items all day and night, but unfortunately I have about a million other things to do, the least of which is preparing to defend my thesis! AHHHH! I know that I will make it through everything and meet my deadlines, but until December 16 at 4:00pm, I will be freaking out!

happy thanksgiving!

This year I made my first-ever complete Thanksgiving feast by myself. James and I invited the international students who were on campus to join us for Thanksgiving dinner, and 8 of the 9 students took us up on the offer, so I cooked a lot on Wednesday night and all day Thursday. I made quick yeast rolls, slow cooker cornbread dressing, sage/thyme roasted turkey, creamy mashed potatoes, whipped sweet potatoes, crumb apple pie, pumpkin pie, whole cranberry sauce, green bean casserole, and an accidental peppered gravy.

I made everything truly from scratch, even my pie crusts, and it was my first time making almost everything--the only previous attempt I had made at any of these dishes was making mashed potatoes, but this recipe I found was far superior to anything I've thrown together before. The dressing made WAY too much for 10 people, so next year I'd probably make a smaller recipe or half it, also because I don't like dressing so I'm not willing to eat any of it. The turkey took a lot longer to cook than my Southern Living recipe said it would, but an almost 16 pound turkey fed all 10 of us perfectly. The story on the gravy--I was making the pan gravy recipe from my SL cookbook, and when I went to add the pepper about a tablespoon fell in instead of the 1/2 tsp I was supposed to use. I wasn't going to serve it, but the kids asked to try it and said it was actually pretty good. The only other thing I would change would be to make more green beans, make the rolls on the day of the meal instead of the day before, and maybe just omit the cranberry sauce since almost no one tried it--although I like it, so maybe it's a keeper just for my little serving that comes out of it. All in all it was a good meal, and I am proud of how my first solo Thanksgiving turned out. I guess I can do this grown-up thing!

getting closer to the safety zone

I am officially 10 weeks and 3 days pregnant, and I feel like I'm starting to look pregnant. I've been on the progesterone pills for almost a week now, and luckily I haven't experienced too many unwanted side effects--mostly just fatigue and a few other things I don't want to discuss in an open forum.

I did receive some upsetting news a few days ago--my doctor approached one of my co-workers and hinted that another Bell Buckle resident was pregnant, and this co-worker then approached my friend Sarah (who I'd already told) and asked her if it was me. I was pretty shocked that my doctor would do this, and also upset that people can't just mind their own business. Not that I'll be keeping this secret for much longer, but I don't want to attract more attention any earlier than I have to. The more I think about it, I really like having my close friends know and care about me, but I don't think I'm going to appreciate the constant "How are you?"questions once it's public knowledge. I know people are just trying to be kind, but I have a feeling it's going to get pretty annoying for that to be all anyone ever wants to talk to me about.

worrying news and FINALLY some good news!

After not hearing from my doctor, I assumed everything was fine. Yesterday I checked my phone after school and saw that I had a missed call from the doctor's office, and when I returned it they said that although my progesterone levels were in the "normal" range, Dr. Moss wanted to put me on progesterone supplements until I was 12 weeks along just to help support the pregnancy. Originally they said the word "suppositories" which made me go "eww", but after finding out I don't live in Murfreesboro, they decided that the pills would be fine. Thank God!

As I always do, I googled "low progesterone" and found that it's usually prescribed for women with a history of miscarriages, which worried me slightly, but also made me confident that this would help avoid a miscarriage.

The good news--I randomly ran into Dr. Moss at school today (it was Visitors' Day so I assume she was here for a parent panel or something), and I was able to stop and talk to her for a little bit about everything. She seemed surprised that I didn't get an ultrasound at my first visit, but remained positive about everything (as I'm sure she's trained to do). She did ask me if I was scheduled for a new OB appointment, which was the perfect opportunity for me to ask her if I could see her for that appointment instead of another NP. She said that she would take care of it and make sure I was rescheduled with her, and wouldn't you know it, a few hours later I get a call from her office telling me when my new appointment is! I'm excited because the appointment is 4 days earlier AND it's with my doctor. Finally some reassuring news--and it's only 3 weeks away! I simply cannot wait to be 12 weeks + and leave all of these worries behind!

slight calming of the nerves

Monday came, and come 1:30 I had still not heard from my doctor. I decided to call them myself, and ended up leaving a message completely expecting not to hear anything until tomorrow. To my surprise, they called me at 4:45 and said that my hormone levels were "good and high". I then asked if that meant there were no worries, and the lady on the phone (who was not an MD or NP) said she couldn't say that for sure but that she would have an NP call me tomorrow if there was cause for concern. I didn't hear anything yesterday or today, so I assume everything's okay.....right?

I ended up messaging my friend Megan who is pregnant and a PA to get her take on the events, and it was nice to hear from her that I should be expecting better treatment than I have received. James talked to Dr. Moss, the OB I requested, at a basketball game since her son plays on his team, and she said that she would make sure I was her patient, so I feel slightly better about that. I would still like to be able to see her at my next appointment, so I may try and talk to her at tomorrow's game to see if that's something that can happen.

All in all I'm not nearly as anxious as I was over the weekend, and I keep telling myself that if something were wrong, I would probably have noticed a change, so I will keep on trusting in God and try to have some peace until my next appointment on December 6.

worrying

Well today I had my first pregnancy check-up, and I can't say that I felt that it went very well. I got there at 9:22 for my 10:00 appointment, and didn't get called back until 10:20. I know that's pretty standard, but it still bothers me that I can't make an appointment for 10:00 and actually be seeing a doctor at that time. Also, the receptionist was not very friendly, which just didn't give me a good feeling.

I started with a pregnancy test (positive!) and weighing in (161), then moved to the exam room. I met with a nurse practitioner this time, which normally is fine, but I was a little upset that it was not even the one I had scheduled (whom I really like) and the one they had me meet with was working her last day with the practice today. She told me that they wouldn't get our medical histories until our next visit, nor would we get to see the baby's heartbeat until then. During the pelvic exam, she mentioned that my uterus was measuring smaller than 8 weeks, so she ordered that I get blood work done in order to assess my hormone levels. Because today was the NP's last day, she was leaving early, so I won't get the results of the blood work until Monday. I honestly wonder if anyone will even call me since it seems like I just keep getting passed along.

I was expecting this visit to be reassuring and calm some of my fears of miscarrying, but instead it just left me with more worries. I've googled all the reasons for why women measure small, and while most of them are not worrisome, I still worry that our baby has just stopped developing. They also forgot to give me the prenatal information packet, and still had not officially assigned me a doctor even though I had requested Dr. Moss on three different occasions.

tomorrow, tomorrow!

Tomorrow is my long-awaited first doctor's appointment. It feels like months have gone by since I first took a pregnancy test, and I am so glad that this day is finally (almost) here! I'm also so thrilled that James is not only coming with me, but wants to--it's nice to have such a supportive husband. I have determined that I must be somewhat of an anomaly because I have only taken one pregnancy test--I figured that if it's 99.9% effective, that's good enough odds for me to only use one. It seems as though everyone with kids or who's pregnant that I've talked to lately has taken at least 2 or 3...oh well, I guess I'm just a minimalist :).

I am beginning to wonder how much longer we can keep this a secret. It seems like James tells a new person every week, and we all know how small town/small school gossip spreads! I have a couple of students who are definitely suspicious, but most are too afraid to confront me yet. Those who have are met with the response of "Are you calling me fat?" and then they shut up.

2 months down!

By my count (which I'm hoping is accurate), I'm now past the 8 week mark. I never really thought I'd get that into reading the little blurbs about how exactly my little fetus is developing, but it's all I think about now. I think I've only put on about 2 pounds by this point (well maybe a little more after Halloween!), but my clothes are definitely feeling different on my body. I ran a 5 mile race last Saturday, and even with keeping my pace reasonable and not pushing myself, I was happy with my sub-11:00 miles (54:00 even was my time). This Friday is my first doctor's visit, and although I've read that it's mostly just talking, it will be nice to talk to a doctor and make sure that everything's okay.

We did have a funny experience today--James's choir director from college sent him a package addressed to "James Garcia--Daddy-to-be", which normally would probably not be a big deal, but our postmaster, who is a big Webb supporter and really nice, read the address label and said, "Oops, I probably shouldn't have read that..." He gave us the package, and we just laughed--it's tough living in a small town!

time keeps crawling by...

Well, here I am, 7.5 weeks along, and still so far away from the "you're in the clear" date. I've been eying that November 4th doctor's appointment since I made it nearly five weeks ago, so at least it's a little reassuring to know I'm getting closer to that.

This past week while telling a story in one of my classes they thought I said "I'm having a baby" instead of "If I have a baby..." so they are all "convinced" I'm pregnant and like to tease me about it. It will be really fun to actually tell them and hear them cry "WE KNEW IT!" I just can't even begin to fathom how excited these kids will be to hear that Baby Garcia is on the way--it's always a big deal when a campus baby is born, but I think the fact that James has been here so long and we both teach here will make this one even more exciting for the kids.

This past weekend I along with some of my friends threw a baby shower for our friend Megan, and it was definitely weird to be around all this baby talk, knowing that I'm pregnant but that not many others know. I did end up telling Megan and Alan, mostly because Megan flat out asked me at one point, and we all know how bad I am at lying!

feeling it.

Well over the past week or so I have definitely been experiencing more pregnancy symptoms, most of which would fall under the category of "TMI", so I'll refrain from describing them here :). I have luckily still been able to avoid the dreaded morning sickness, which I'm always afraid will hit while I'm driving the school bus in the morning--so far so good. I'm becoming more sensitive of the smells around me, which is just a strange experience for me because I've never had a very strong sense of smell.

Today there will be a cameraman in one of my classes capturing video for an admissions video about the middle school, so I will need to muster the energy and enthusiasm to rock it out for at least 45 minutes. Praying for the ability to stay alert and energized through the day today--and then I can nap away the afternoon :).

fall break!

I can't believe it's only been 8 days since I found out I was pregnant--it feels like so much has changed since then!

Thursday night I got together with Kelly, Shilpy, and Kristen for drinks (ha!) and dessert to celebrate Shilpy's 30th birthday, and when the discussion about which wine to choose came my direction, I had to say, "I can't have any..." Kristen was texting someone, so she assumed I was just being a good DD, but Shilpy knew instantly and kept saying, "Is it....? Are you....?" It made for a fun evening being reunited after what seemed like ages with those girls, talking about all the news that has been swirling through our lives lately.

Saturday morning Kelly and I ran the Rock Island 5 miler, which was a ridiculously hard course. I tried my best to keep my heart rate at a reasonable level, but it wasn't easy with all the hills. I finished in 61 minutes, which is definitely my worst 5 mile time ever. After that I came home, made some apple tarts, and awaited the arrival of our friends the Deans to watch football and catch up.

Within 10 minutes of sitting down on our couch the Deans announced that they were pregnant! Our response was, "Us, too!" They had already been in for an ultrasound since Megan is 9 weeks along, and the second surprise was that there were two little guys in the picture--TWINS! We were so incredibly excited for them, as they have been trying for about 18 months to conceive with no luck--and now they're doubly pregnant! I'm also glad to have a nearby pregnant buddy to talk to about all that is to come.

The only other news is that I haven't felt as pregnant the past few days. My stomach has calmed down a bit, although today I felt some heartburn after eating Chinese food and my nose seems to picking up on a lot. I guess my symptoms are just changing, which I will have to continue to adapt to. Only 26 days til my first doctor's visit!

my first week of pregnancy

It has (almost) been one week since I found out I was pregnant, but it seems SO much longer. Things have been going well, but it's been really hard not to tell everyone our news. Tuesday night I have started going to a Bible study with my friend Sarah and another campus wife, Nikki, and as we were taking prayer requests, I knew that I wanted our baby to be prayed for, but I didn't know if I should tell Nikki since we aren't really close, and I still haven't told many of my close friends. I did end up telling her, mostly because I think this Bible study will be a good source of strength and peace throughout my pregnancy if I can be open and honest about everything.

I'm experiencing a little more queasiness now, and the past few nights I've really struggled to fall asleep. It seems like my stomach is always awake and moving, and the fetal position is ironically the only position that feels comfortable while sleeping. I have also experienced some fatigue, but I never know if that is just Webb or not. All in all I've been feeling pretty good, but I am definitely looking forward to fall break and having some rest time.

keeping a secret is hard to do!

I woke up really early today, as I normally do when I'm excited about something. I had to run to Murfreesboro to complete some errands during my break, and wouldn't you know it, there was an "Expectant Mothers" parking spot open! You better believe I jumped at that chance!

All day it felt like I was walking around with a big secret. I was on duty all afternoon with Kristen and managed not to tell her, but it was so difficult. I really want to wait until after my first doctor's visit to tell her and Shilpy, although I feel like I need to tell Kelly since we work out together. I don't want her thinking I'm a wimp!

But overall I feel fine, my stomach feels weird, not really nauseating, but just like it's always in motion. I hope I can avoid getting sick, but if I do I know it will be worth it. It will definitely be nice to NOT be on duty for a little while after tonight though. It's tough to deal with such life-changing news in the midst of trying to keep tabs on 16 teenage boys.

:D

This time the maybe was a YES! I was originally going to wait until Monday to take a pregnancy test, but James convinced me by pointing out that waiting two more days would just increase his hopefulness, and if it was negative he would have the weekend to get over it.

I was supposed to take a dinner trip to Chuy's Mexican restaurant in Murfreesboro at 6:00 on Saturday, but none of the 16 kids who signed up for the trip actually wanted to go. Since by the time I found that out they had stopped serving dinner, James watched the dorm while I ran to Taco Bell to get dinner. YUM! Right before I left he hinted that it would be nice to pick up something at the store....so I stopped by Walgreens and bought a digital test. It's a little uncomfortable having to check out with a pregnancy test, and I felt like telling the checkout guy, "Don't worry, I want to be pregnant, and I am financially able to support a child." But I made it through the checkout, only to have the security alarm go off as I left, so I got to show another cashier my purchase.

I came home, ate a burrito and nachos, and then went to the bathroom. The test was supposed to take 3 minutes to give a response, but we had a "Pregnant" answer in about a minute. I tried to walk in with a blank expression on my face and just thrust the stick in James's face. He only had a lamp on in the living room, so it took him awhile to be able to read the results, but once he did he jumped up from the couch and was SO excited. He called his parents and sisters, and I called my parents to let them know the early good news. We also called our siblings and closest friends, and we'll try to keep it on the lowdown until we pass the 12 week mark. But we are SO happy and are praying that all goes well so that we will have a new little Garcia come June.

again....could it be?

After a few more months of trying, my monthly cycles have been completely predictable...every 26 days on the dot. And today was that 27th day....and nothing yet. I'm not experiencing any symptoms that I am aware of (other than maybe some mood swings--sorry James!). I'm on duty this weekend, so James and I end up seeing each other every couple of hours, and he always has this look of "Are we still in it?" on his face, and so far I haven't had to disappoint him. I'm not trying to get my hopes up too much, because like I said I don't feel any different...but I guess it's still a possibility. So fingers are crossed, and come Monday if there's still no change I guess it's time to get a test....!

still waiting...

Well, it's been two months since my last post, and we're still waiting and trying :). I celebrated my 27th birthday officially on Monday, but the celebration really started on Saturday and continued through Tuesday...I love drawing out my birthday! James made it a wonderful day with cards and $50 gift cards from each of the dogs, a new bike, a new planner, an 82 mushroom pizza, peanut butter M&Ms, arranging for me to go out to lunch with 3 of my good friends, having Sarah Swafford make me a cake and have everyone over to their house for cake & ice cream, and the big surprise gift--a diamond and sapphire bracelet. Needless to say I'm afraid to look at our bank account after all these expenditures, but it was a great birthday!

false alarm.

Well, my feeling was wrong. I took a pregnancy test Thursday afternoon and it came back negative. James and I were both a little disappointed, but not too much--after all, I was on birth control and we weren't "trying", but we were still hoping that we wouldn't have to "try". But now the game is officially on! Here we go....!

Could it be?

I finished the pink pills in my birth control pack on Sunday, which usually means "that time" comes by Tuesday. Yesterday (Wednesday) I still hadn't seen anything, so I told James and got him all excited. However, right before we went to bed I noticed a little spotting, so I told him and saw the extreme disappointment on his face. Yet things still didn't feel normal...so this morning I Googled, as any one would, "early signs of pregnancy", to find that I was experiencing a few of them--increased urination, late/light period, slight nausea, and some minor cramping. But as the site says, these could also be pre-menstrual signs, so I didn't get too excited.

On my way to work I realized that I was smelling a lot of random things--but then wondered if I was just convincing myself that I had a heightened sense of smell. AHHH! I'm not going to tell James anything until I know for sure, but I feel like this could be it. I really just don't want to get his hopes up again. But so far, it's 2:00 pm, and I've had to pee like 4 times today (as opposed to my normal 0-1 times during the whole work day)...so maybe this is it....oh my!

4 more weeks!

This weekend I started my last 4 weeks of birth control pills. James and I went back and forth as to whether we should just toss the last month's pills and get started, but the realization that if for some reason we were able to get pregnant right away I would be giving birth in April made us opt for patience. It seems as though much of the happenings around me revolve around babies--I had one friend give birth last week, another learned of a miscarriage, and still another announced she was pregnant. I definitely feel the baby "itch", and I just pray that James and I will be able to conceive within a reasonable amount of time and without the need for fertility treatments.

Getting Old

Lately I've come to the realization that I am old. But for as much as everyone always talks about aging with such dread, I can't say I'm depressed by it. I think I've always been "old", it's just now that my age is catching up to the way I act. I've recently learned how to knit, and I love it. Kelly and I gave up our insane running schedule in favor of fitness walking. On any given night, I am happiest sitting at home with James playing Yahtzee or walking our dogs and tidying up the house while listening to Dave Matthews. Obviously (God-willing), being a mother will do even more to make me feel old, but it's likewise something I am ready and willing to take on.

Yesterday Maggie Vaughn, the Poet Laureate of Tennessee, came to talk to our students about the importance of dreams. She emphasized the importance of not giving up on your dreams, but she also said that if you're not a dreamer, it's okay, as dreamers need those grounded people in their lives to help them remember to pay their taxes :). As much as I think everyone wants to be a dreamer, I know that I don't need to realize far-reaching dreams in order to be happy. I'm perfectly content with being the "grounded" one, because a major part of being grounded for me means being grounded in my faith in God...and I like that.

In the beginning...

Approximately one month ago James turned to me and said, "I've been thinking...I don't want to wait." And there it was. Plan "Have a Baby" was moved up from December 2011 to August 2011. Not to make it seem like I had no say in the matter--but I've always said that I will be ready when he is...after all, if all goes according to plan, I will get to stay home with the baby!

It's weird to think that next year around this time I could be very pregnant. It seems as though every year of my life lately has been vastly different from the last--living in France, student teaching, moving to Tennessee, living and working at a boarding school, having a serious relationship, being engaged, being married--things are always in motion!